Dear Diary - Today was a tremendous win!
Oh man, I don’t even know where to start. It all went tremendously well. I never thought Selenskyj would let himself be played like that—what a huge blunder. And I even had a bet going with J.D.
Well, I’m simply the biggest dealmaker the world has ever seen. I just don’t understand what problem the fake-news media have. Every time I follow through on what I announced from the start, the outrage is so huge. Why are they so surprised? I announced a tremendous deal with Russia—not with Ukraine. I said I wanted to make America great again—not Ukraine.
I said I wanted to strike a tremendous business deal, not negotiate a peace agreement that respects Ukraine’s territorial integrity. That would be a total disaster. Who do they think I am? Abraham Lincoln?
P.S.: On my way out, some loser mumbled that Abraham Lincoln would turn in his grave… Of course, I had that scumbag kicked out immediately.
The Third World War—I ain’t laughing. Fuck, I don’t even believe my own crap. It was basically just about taking this little punk from Ukraine for a ride on live camera. The little guy is now finished and won’t be coming back anytime soon.
Now I can negotiate in peace with my buddy Vladimir and nicely split up Ukraine’s natural resources between us.
I’m already looking forward to the trip to Moscow. Vladimir always has the best girls. In case of doubt, I don’t even have to shell out any hush money, since they don’t know English anyway.
Hehe, Donaldo out!
P.S.: Tomorrow I have to ask old Pete how far along we are with the Greenland operation. It’s taking way too long again.
It's getting hot in Here
What did actually happen?
Never miss a word he says!
