And these “cover-up” rumors – how hurtful! We only encrypt names and addresses to protect the privacy of our brothers. After all, data protection is also a Christian value! Our prevention programs? A true marvel! We print brochures, hold seminars, and when a victim complains, we generously put a few coins in the reconciliation ring bag.

Damage to our image? Not at all, that’s soul care! If we make investigations a tiny bit more difficult, then only to protect the church – this rock in the surf – from unnecessary storms.

I ask you, dear flock: Why this doubt about our moral authority? Our male-dominated structure is not a flaw, but a divine design! Women? Oh, they have enough to do with Marian devotion. And when we raise tax money and donations, it’s only to light candles for your souls, not to hide files. A contradiction between our halo and the headlines? Ridiculous! It’s just a test of our faith.